31 July 2008

What's Happening

(Warning: This posting is slightly diary-ish) There's been so much going on, but nothing really to write home about. I'm trying to take things as they come, but those of you who know me, know I don't do that well.

I was so completely preoccupied earlier this week, that sadly (remember, no kids), it was kind of a blur. Why you ask? Because. Ever since I've had kids, I've turned into a bit of a hypochondriac. Is that normal? It drives me nuts ... I know better. I never worried about health issues before. But now? Now, I'm constantly thinking something is wrong. I find one little slightly abnormal thing, and I imagine the worst. It doesn't even cross my mind that maybe, just maybe, it's something called aging. I know Brian would be fine if God forbid something happened to me, but who would plan birthday parties? Or organize the kids lives? Make sure dinner is on the table? Or the dog fed? Who would pay the bills? Would the kids remember me? But not to worry. The fact is, I'm fine (at least physically). I found a lump near my collar bone and freaked. But in my defense, you try googling "lump by collar bone" and see what you pull up. Scary. Thanks Internet. Doctor said it wasn't anything to worry about, but still gave me a blood test and chest x-ray. It's all 100% normal. Probably not even a lymph node -- most likely fatty tissue, which is extremely gross, but a much better prognosis.

Next, we are trying to find an afternoon nanny -- which before the thought-I-had-cancer-but-now-know-I-don't days, completely kept me preoccupied. I just want to do the right thing, you know? H is signed up for a great after-school program, and C will continue where he's currently at. These are fabulous options. But logistically, I have no idea how we are going to pull it off, especially with Brian's travel schedule. So we are looking for an afternoon babysitter. Can I just say, people are total flakes. I have 40 resumes, have contacted several back, and have only been confident enough in one to interview her. And, she was great! But unfortunately can only work short term. And I'm not sure I can stomach going through this process again. So we'll keep on searching. If you know of anyone, please have them send their resume to peafour@gmail.com.

And that, is what is going on. Ahhhh, I feel so much better.

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